I AM the Cause of My Suffering

I am the cause of my suffering

It feels different somehow now.
There is no blame inside of that space much less anything that needs to be done.
For now it’s just seeing things as they are.

I am the Cause of my suffering

The cause of my situation or circumstances may be multifaceted …
And indeed there ARE a myriad of interwoven connected events that make up this moment.
But! If suffering is present there is but One cause.
No external or extraordinary circumstance is the root of my pain, sorrow or fear.
All of these are mine alone.
They belong to the I AM that sits here in judgment and defense.

I AM brings with it longings, cravings and desires.
It defines a target and continues to see itself fall short of its ideals.

I am the cause of my Suffering

Without this me-thought there is simple Beingness.
The water babbling in the garden.
The birds chirping in the honeysuckle.
The bi-planes flying toward the foothills for a scenic ride on a sunny day.
All of this and this body too with all of its sensations and conditioned responses.
All of it simple and easy … Without the I AM lording over the outcome.

I am the cause of My suffering

As I feel a wave rise in me, I am reminded gently as the soft breeze through this garden that blows past my ear …

i AM the cause of my suffering

And with that Knowing there is a sense of deep peace.
The energy may continue to move or retreat to the abyss from where it came.
But there is no I AM here on this bench to cling or cringe against its flow.

Without the I AM there is still movement and sensations that rise and fall away.
But there is no victim nor need for heroine to sully or save the day.

I AM the cause of my suffering

And in Truth the I AM does not exist.
I need not embrace, fix or plot its demise.
For it appears as thin and translucent as the finest web spun across a footpath.
It falls away as I approach and disappears into the void as I pass through.

This is EMPTYNESS.

An amazing fullness of life as the Totality and no one here to spin a story.

Nothing has changed.

Nothing has been added.

Only the gentle falling away of an illusory – I AM.

I AM … the cause of suffering