May your suffering be eased …



Those of us who are ill, long for days that are unencumbered by our symptoms.  We wish for things to be easier and less symptomatic.  Sometimes we find our self in a holding pattern as we try and wait for our remembered self to return.

I hear my colleagues in this life school of breakdown and recovery 101, lament that they so want to have a life again.  They want to go out for a walk, look at the moon rise over a still lake or enjoy a moment in the sun without pain and intense symptoms of their circumstances.  I want this too.  I know their pain, I feel their suffering.  I want this not only for myself but I want this for them as well.

My circumstances and internet ties bring me close to so many people who are in healing crisis.  I have come to care about each of them deeply and hold them in my thoughts of healing as I do for my own family of origin.

For some there is a clear cut healing path and they can see the light at the end of the tunnel when they will emerge a new person with vitality, health and possibility.  These are the people who find themselves disabled for only a chapter (or ten) in their lives but they know that it is not a permanent life sentence and they hold on to the hope of the future life that lies ahead.

For others, they have lived a life of suffering and pain that has waxed and waned through their growing years and they find themselves now in a place of unworkability at every level of the game.  Their bodies scream in pain when they first open their eyes from another sleepless night, their mind is tortured with the highest of agitation and the lowest depths of despair.  With no end in sight and so many years in breakdown the desperation in their voice is heart breaking.

Then there are those who through unexpected life circumstances find themselves plunged without warning into a fight for their life against illnesses that we only whisper about because their reality is so hard to face.

However these healing pioneers find themselves on the road alongside me … each of us share the common goal to end our suffering.  And I pray for all of us that the end will come before the end of time that we share together.

When I look upon people who walk the path unencumbered by disabled parking placards or IV ports or the torture of an otherwise beautiful mind … those people who wake up, drink a cup of coffee and drive to work each day … I realize that they are ostensibly no different though their outer circumstances look very much so.  The physical pain may be less acute and the mental noise often muffled, these normal able bodied sentient beings also seek to diminish suffering in their own work-a-day lives.  They plot and prep and pray much the same for the downtime to enjoy a walk in nature, look at the moon and the stars or enjoy a moment in the sun free from encumbrances.  For some it may come in small doses on the weekend but yet never seems to match the yearning for peace and balance in their heart’s vision.  They recognize the disorder in their lives and feel the pain in much the same way that each of us experience our unique slice of suffering.

It’s funny, when we find ourselves slipping into a place of self pity we may have a thought that “there are other people worse off than I” and somehow this lifts our spirit ever so slightly.  For me, I often reflect that there are people who only have the appearance of much easier life, yet their suffering is the same as mine and they deserve my prayer too that their load may be lightened.

On this day,

I pray for you,

my numberless friends

who seek to ease their pain.

In some cases

I know you well and call you by name,

in other instances

you and I have never met before

but yet at once you are so familiar.

May we all feel the ease of the burden that we carry

and may we each seek to ease the burden of our numberless friends.

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