Dragon Slayer



They say to just face your fear and you will pass through it.  Remarkable stories about people who challenged their own demons then were forever free are all over the internet and best-sellers in bookstores.  I wonder if the medieval stories of dragons and damsels were not metaphors for this same philosophy.

So for those of us trapped inside of an illness that also pushes our panic button … We are left feeling cowardly and defeated each time the wave over takes us and we find our self with less than graceful coping maneuvers.

If it was as simple as Facing Your Fear … my sense is not a one of us would continue to suffer.  Transpose FEAR for DEPRESSION or ANGER or whatever ADDICTION of the day you choose.  If all it took was bravery, I should think each of us would be wearing a medal of honor.  To live day after day within the paradigm of a pain-filled life takes a tremendous amount of strength, patience, perseverance and dare I say courage.

The easy moments often lull us into a place of conditioned confidence where we hold on to the belief we may actually have slain our dragon once and for all.  At the very least we have come to recognize when the dragon sleeps.  We cling to these moments … careful to tiptoe through our day as not to wake the beast.

Bring it on!
Welcome your pain!
Invite your suffering to tea!
Accept
Allow
And let time pass.

Immortal words by some of the world masters … but WHO is the master?  Where did this bravado come from?  Who is pulling the strings?  Surely if ‘i’ was at the helm of my vessel I would have grabbed the captain’s wheel and fearlessly veered into the storm.  If THAT was what it took to free myself from suffering.

I have enough wits about me, ample street smarts and sufficient formal training that I should clearly be proficient to plot a course and cybernetically steer my way through the quagmire of cognitive pain.  So I have to ask myself again … Does my failure to make any progress make me somehow flawed, inept or simply insincere in my efforts?  Or does my experience … my personal subjective experience … Somehow differ from the dragon slayers tall tale?  What if my reality and my circumstances cannot be lined up and compared to the heroes and heroines that trump their sentient nature and are forever free of the egoic will?

Perhaps it is neither one nor the other.  Could be that BOTH play an equal though seemingly polaric part when in fact they are one in the same.  Brave or Craven?  Lucky or Damned?  Strong or Weak of Heart?  Seems only the outcome determines the label.  If suffering ends then you are Lancelot, otherwise you are Willy Loman.  Triumph or tragedy it seems is at least in part out of our hands.

We close our eye and stab our sword into the breast of the beast.  If the dragon falls we sell millions of self-help books on how to slay your inner demon.  If the dragon lives … well then we write another blog.

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