The Wheel of Samsara
Egoic Mind: Fear is still present. I fall asleep with it lingering in the annals of my mind and my eyes open in the morning with visions of fear permeating the prospects before me. I meditate and fear creeps into even the quietude of the stillness.
I cry in fear that I will never reach the enlightened state. My heart skips and I am once again thrown into the saving-my-life paradigm – truly the wheel of samsara. I am the hamster in the habit-trail going round and round. Now what?
Gnani: It IS the perfect condition of Samsara. You have recognized the wheel you are on and have described your condition rightly.
But do you realize that it is the witnessing presence of the one consciousness itSelf that has observed these actions? Do you not see that that which you are seeking is watching the entire plot unfold over and over again?
Egoic Mind: But I want to come out of this pain and suffering!!!! Why doesn’t the witness DO something about the Samsaric circle?
Gnani: You are presupposing the witness is the DOER when there is NO DOER whatsoever. The ego is unable to DO anything about events or circumstances. It is only a mental concept.
The witnessing presence has no desire to DO. It is merely the eyes and ears of the Totality as it is manifested in this body-mind organism.
Egoic Mind: Then why doesn’t this Totality, the great unmanifested do something for this sentient being that it has created? Why plant the seed of freedom and then sit back and let it die of neglect?
Gnani: Who is it that feels neglected? The ego? The witness? Who wants the seed to sprout?
Egoic Mind: This body-mind is in terrible pain. Surely the Witness must see that, how can it not judge this body pain as bad? How can it not see the suffering of this anxious mind and not want to write some kind of report back to God that its time already to grant Grace to this creation?
Gnani: And if the body and mind of this organism was NOT in terrible pain, what would it be doing right now?
Egoic Mind: It would be living life. Cooking. Shopping. Writing. Leaving the house for Christ’s sake! If this body-mind entity was not crippled with illness and disease it would be experiencing the wonders of nature, the joys of family and the bliss of existence.
Gnani: Look around at the other sentient beings who are NOT in pain … how many are still trapped on the Samsaric wheel? Is it not the case that the perception of suffering is not limited to those in physical and mental anguish?
The gift you have been given is that you can see the cycle for what it is and you are fully aware of the root cause of your suffering. Most sentient beings have no idea why they suffer. They continue to look outward for symptomatic relief.
Few turn inward. Few recognize the seed of awareness within themselves. This pain has forced you to look beyond the veil.
Egoic Mind: And when I did I was bit by the venom of the seeker. All of my allusions of control where stripped away from me. My health plummeted to an all new low. This “mind” betrayed me and I am left feeling helpless, naked, and terrified.
Gnani: Ahh yes, the perfect prerequisites for the enlightened soul. It could be no other way. There was no better road to follow, no superior choice that could have been made.
The path you have taken, which of course has led you no where, is the only means to that which you seek. And when you realize that you have already arrived at your destination, rest will be yours.
