The Perfect Moment
Egoic Mind: Why is it so hard to see progress in my healing? While outwardly it looks like progress is being made, although infinitesimally small, yet I still feel just as frightened, sad and hopeless as before. Why is that?
Gnani: Instead of asking Why, perhaps you should ask WHO? Who is it that feels progress is small? Who is it that feels frightened? Who is it that feels sad? And who is it that says it is feeling hopeless?
Indeed ask Who it is that would benefit from these feelings of lack? Who is it that is taking your attention away from this very present moment and turning it back to the illusion of past and future, the remembrance of who you think you were and the ideal of who you think you should be?
But even the notion of a “who” makes it seem like there is a real entity that is involved. More accurate would be to look at the source of this “who” concept. Is it not that these questions stem from the me-thought of a mind that has misidentified itSelf with the body organism? When does this “me” exist that feels small and helpless? Does it exist in the state of deep sleep? Does this helpless “me” exist in your dreams?
If the “me” does not exist in the deep sleep state and if you pay no mind to the illusions that take form in the dream state than why do you care at all what exists from the mental noise in the waking hours?
Thoughts are distractions. You can no more “fix” them than you can fix the wind blowing through the leaves of an autumn tree. Let the thoughts fall to the ground as naturally as they rose in the mind. Fix your attention not on making better thoughts inside your head, but on what is happening right now in front of your eyes. Is this not the most perfect moment? In fact the ONLY moment that could be happening right now? It is indeed the ONLY moment that IS happening so why not BE here with it, instead of wishing for a different moment in illusory time?
Egoic Mind: Easy for an Gnani to be Presence itSelf. But unless I can clear this monkey-mind that takes me away to places of deep suffering, I have no hope in seeing what is before my eyes. Even knowing intellectually that there is no “me” that is suffering, that it is only a mental concept, which I do believe, when faced with the illusion which is so familiar to me I seem to fall prey to the beast and accept as true all of the fear forming concepts.
Gnani: Years of conditioning and constant reinforcing of the me-concept naturally leads to this imaginary battle of duality between the “me” as a separate self and the “obstacles” that stand in its way of liberation. Even your belief that you must somehow clear the mind before you can embrace this moment, keeps you locked in a cycle of suffering.
Let the mind be the mind. Let the thoughts come unabated. They do so anyway, do they not? Instead of spending any more energy trying to change what is so … why not allow all that is to be as it is.
Ok, there are thoughts of not healing. So be it. There are thoughts of failure and helplessness. This is true. Not that there IS failure and helplessness but that there are THOUGHTS of these emotions and conditions is an undeniable fact. So be it. Accept that your DNA and habituation are the causes for these thoughts to manifest at this moment. That because of the way you were created and the events you have experienced that there could be no other thought possible to entertain in this moment. These are the ONLY things that could be happening right now.
It would follow then, that if these were the only possible things that could be happening right now, there would be no need, no desire, no intention to change them. Is this not so?
It is only the illusion that you CAN change anything at any particular time that keeps you looking for alternatives. From where I stand, there is only perfection. You ARE already perfect. You ARE exactly how you were designed to be, undergoing the ideal experiences to allow you to grow and evolve to the deeper understandings of your true nature.
Is this not what you are seeking?
So then, be at peace. It is SO, already in this moment.
