Peace in the Wind
I want to be IN peace — And I’m not. My body is wrought with pain and adrenaline, as it seems to be each morning. The tears are close by as if ready at my beck and call. I long for the serenity that I know will be here sometime …. Later. I want to stay in THAT place.
The place of soft muscles
Flowing movements
Clear thought
PEACE
My Zen sangha would say that “I” can not be IN peace, for “I” AM Peace at its essence. Fuck the sangha. I am hurting, Now. The New Age Seekers would say I should change my thoughts because I am attracting Non-peace. But I know enough from my Direct Experience that it doesn’t work like that.
Peace will appear to come
Peace will appear absent
Everything is always in flux
When circumstances warrant change
Change will appear
There is little doing on my part
If any
Though the egoic mind may claim victory
When the shift occurs
If that habit of ownership is strong
Which is why the Law of Attraction folks
Are so easily swayed to believe they have moved the mountain
It is because
Change Happens
And if you are actively engaged in something
Then when that change happens
You are apt to own it as your own
Even if no evidence exists
That you were the cause or the catalyst
I realize that for some, this free floating seed in the wind is simply too frightening a concept to embrace. How can I live my life if I am only a non-volitional seed being swept here and there by my circumstance and surroundings? So we fabricate a story that suits our mind and soothes the soul that we believe we have.
I am OneI am THE One
There is Only One
To be that which watches the wind
and the seed
THAT is the fruit
of my enquiry
Because that is the experience
That bears fruit time and again
There is this being in pain and fear
And at the same time there is this
Presence
That is watching
All of This
Unfold
I am at the same time
The Fear Body
and
That
Which is Witness
To the body that feels fear
And that witnessing presence
Is already and always
At Peace
Ahhhh …
Finally a shift
The sense of harmony fills my lungs as I breath deeply and release completely and recognize the moment of synchronicity when my Desire for Peace and my perceived state of peacefulness are in alignment. Even knowing that it will not last doesn’t matter in this moment. Because the deep, albeit non-abiding, recognition that
I am the witness and the body provides enough solidity to allow my Self to
Float
Freely
In the wind . . .
