Watching The Show
Egoic Mind: I hurt! Everything seems to be against me: the pharmacy; the doctor’s office; the insurance; not to mention the teenager! Whatever am I suppose to do?!
Gnani: And what things right now do you imagine are going right for you?
Egoic Mind: I suppose the blessings in my life would include: my daughter enjoying Italy and my own health not declining further; my youngest is getting good grades; the tuition came through; Dalai’s calendar is out; Millie is in a web contest; I am writing and cooking a bit. So is it that I should focus on positive things?
Gnani: Focus on anyTHING or noTHING at all. It matters not. Each of the bad things on your list will eventually turn into a positive and each of the positive things you listed will dissolve into a negative or perhaps neutral thing at some point in the future as well.
Tell me of the things that are not going your way … Have you invested effort and time to change them?
Egoic Mind: Yes, a great deal.
Gnani: And have these efforts impacted the outcomes thus far?
Egoic Mind: No. And if I look at the positive things I listed there has been noaction or doership per se on my part that has led to these results at this time.
Gnani: Quite right! When you apperceive this truth deeply you will lose interest in trying to change whatever you see as going or not going your way.
Egoic Mind: Is there anyway to speed up that deep knowing? Because I understand it on an intellectual level but the me-thought still tries to change things.
Gnani: So what? Let the me thought wriggle and squirm as much as it wants … But instead of identifying with the thought you can step back and witness the thinking. Remember you are watching a program, much like on TV. You can not change the plot by changing the channel, pushing the mute or pause buttons! The program is already in the can, complete as it were. You are just watching for your own entertainment. As the impartial audience, you can watch anything for as long as you find it interesting to watch. Or you can watch nothing at all.
Egoic Mind: What becomes of the witness in the non-watching state?
Gnani: When there is nothing to witness there is nothing that is witnessing.
Egoic Mind: What? What is present in the absence of witnessing and how does it know it is present?
Gnani: NoTHING is present, presense exists but is unaware of itSelf in the absence of witnessing.
Egoic Mind: I think I need some silence to grasp that concept.
Gnani: Conceptual understanding will lead you back to the mind as doer. Silence itSelf is all that is needed.
