I am in a committed Online Relationship

I heard some version of that line coming from the TV as I was walking by the family room today.  It made my heart melt for a moment and I quickly counted my blessings for the man who is in my real world life.  For some people, online isn’t a choice its the only option for a variety of reasons.  For others, online is actually preferred over the real world.  And of course there are those of us who simply could no longer bare the tears every night at the sound of “Cuidate, te amo.”

To say “real world” as opposed to the virtual or online world, or chat friend, or cartoon lover is somehow misleading.  It implies that the feelings are somewhat less than real, if they occur primarily over the ethernet.  We assume that in order to be a “real friend” you have to meet in “real life”.  But that is not always the case.  And in our technology dense lives, meeting face to face may not be as important as sharing a connection on facebook. Or an emoticon on IM.

“You don’t even know him, you’ve never actually met.”

All of us who have fallen in love online have heard that sentiment expressed to us in one form or another.  The implication being that there is some magical truth that is passed when we exchange DNA as opposed to megabytes.  However I assure you, that quality and quantity time are possible online and the depth and breadth of conversations that occur in chat rooms can often be so much more personal than would normally occur over coffee and cake.

Today’s relationship fabric is a complicated quilt of world wide encounters.  The implications for parents is vast and ever changing and indeed a shaggy dog story for another time.  Suffice to say that there are many imposters, freeks and seriously dangerous people who lurk on the internet.  Just as there are walking the aisles of Walmart at a quarter to two in the morning.   Being safe is important across all means and modes of social interaction and spans every generation.  And it IS every generation!  Did you know that more than HALF of adults over 65 use the internet?   Grandma’s got facebook and she probably has a profile page at OurTime.com or any one of the other over 50+ dating sites on the web.

My hat is off to all the couples around the world, who may indeed be a world apart from one another, but who still make it work everyday in a way that works for them.  May we all have compassion for however passion finds us in the material or machine realm.