Nothing Good Can Come Of It

Nothing good can come of it … The first time I heard those words I’m sure I was up to no good and it was probably a well meaning elder trying to dissuade me from getting in over my head.  Its used as a warning to steer someone back on the proper path.  Don’t Do THAT!  Why?  Because nothing good can ever come from it.

And that’s what we want is it not?  More of the good stuff.  That’s what everyone wants.  Hope, peace, fame, fortune or whatever other form we believe happiness might take.  A bigger better slice of the pie.  Its a driving factor in all of our decisions.  What should I have for lunch?  What should my major be?  What music should I play as I walk down the aisle?  (I’ll be making wedding canceled call backs for the foreseeable future because that’s just how I roll with the cosmic punches.)

Lately the Universe has been throwing some curves and I find myself ruminating over circumstances and outcomes that seem outside the realm of perceived control that I have on any given day.  My what if meter is pegged on over drive as I worry about the next letter in the mail, the next phone call with bad news or the next leak in the roof during our wettest winter in recent memory.  Because really .. when it rains, it pours.

I’ve been through all of the worse case scenarios in my mind and I’ve done my share of having an optimistic outlook  on how everything will turn out.  But as I took a step back and looked at the longer now …. it really wasn’t going to make a difference in the 1st world problems I would be facing.  Fact is … the BEST case scenario … at the end of the day .. I would still be disabled.  Regardless of how the cards may fall … there is simply no fairytale ending to the story where I find the glass half full slipper.

I worry and I struggle and in the end … No good can come of it.  I hold on to hope and Grace and in the end … NO good can ever come of it.   For some I realize that it sounds like a dismal prospect.  But for me … in that moment of tears when the Truth became salient it was as if the little steam valve on the pressure cooker had opened up.  My mind shifted from the worries of how my immediate crisis will end to realizing .. it completely doesn’t matter.  At the end of the day .. I will still be sick … I will still have family that I love … my life will be hard … and my happiness does not rely on the glass house of my circumstances or creature comforts.

Nothing good can come of it.  It is both the good news and the bad news of a not so shaggy dog satori that I’m sure I’ll tell my children’s children when the time comes and I am that well meaning mantra elder.