How is Bliss?

There are days that go by when I do not think about Mom, but in truth not many in these seven plus years that she has been gone from my life.  Had she died of course I could be cultivating good memories and focusing on the time we had together with a warm and open heart.  But she didn’t die.  She left.  Mom chose to leave me … and much of the civilized world in 2009.  I try to remember the last phone conversation with her … but I can’t because of course I didn’t know it was going to be the last. I remember we spoke on Christmas 2008 and I’m sure we chatted most days after that as we always did.

“Hi Mom, How is Bliss?”

And she would tell me about her walk in the woods with her pride and joy german shepard … that she aptly named Bliss.  Mom actually had two shepards the other was Robbie … but Robbie was a boy and Mom had little use for men in her senior  years and Robbie was tolerated as Bliss’ companion dog but certainly not worshipped as she did her beloved Bliss.

Some people miss their mothers because they have passed on … some feel passed over as a child and hold on to the anger and resentment of not having a mother during their formadable years.  I know several people in my inner circle who will not be picking up the phone and wishing their mom a happy mother’s day today.  And in Truth its the one thing I so wish I could do.

But I suppose there are a lot of things I would wish for if I spent time pondering  impossible dreams.  Not the least of which being able to stand for more than a gnats flight … which I want for my son and his sisters who each embrace EDS and POTS in their own remarkable ways and who continue to find their Bliss everyday regardless of chronic pain or fatigue.

Because it’s true that while I am missing my own mother on this Mother’s Sunday.  I have three amazing children who still want me to be part of their lives.  I am blessed to have a man who knows about pain and suffering and who has chosen to spend his life with me knowing that our final chapter living on this planet will not be pretty.  And while we do not have a german shepard to guide our way, we do have Bitz.  A tiny miniature schnauzer puppy who now shares our lives and fills our days with felicity.
This is Bliss.  Not the things that may be going well at the moment.  But in all ways (always) unconditional and omni present Presence, the settled state of Being (even within an unsettled body/mind/world.)  This Silence and utterly empty and open dimension into the iris of the *I* that calls me back and reminds me of the true nature of Mother. Bathed in the Light and bowing deeply … I celebrate today … Happy Mother’s Day, indeed.
Gassho.