Keyhole Moments
My friend told me a story about how when we look through the keyhole of a door and see a flame before our eyes, we might believe that the world was on fire. But only when the door is wide open do we see a solitary match surrounded by a diverse landscape reaching far as the “I” can appercieve.
In the moment when we feel the heat of a flame, it is often difficult to step back and realize that what is before our eyes is only a keyhole moment. The Totality in its entire amazing array of opportunity is actually beyond the veil that is cloaking our perception.
For the last dozen days my perception has been narrowed to the keyhole iris of the world’s eye. The pain and intensity of the surges from this most recent hyperadrenergic phase of the Dysautonomia has once again restricted my peripheral vision and the aperture of the wide angle lens has closed in a very non-abiding awakening.
As I lay on my bed trying to breathe myself into a more peace filled heart rate coherence, the inner muscles at the core of my being began to tremble. I could feel the heat rising again as I switched the ceiling fan on and pressed the water mister bottle beside me to recreate the perspiration that this dehydrated body organism could not produce. A tiny tear managed to form in the corner of my right eye and began to roll down my cheek but quickly got absorbed back into the skin on my face.
Just as it seemed I was headed for another head over heel roll in hell, the light from between the slats in a distant window shade streamed several vertical bars of bright light towards my partially closed eye lids. Strange indeed as the horizontal mini-blinds do not usually cast a vertical light show. As I opened my eyes to see and feel the entire space around me I was able to feel the presense of the shimmering light, much like that night I was taught the Dharma by my dog so long ago.
“Alright, I’m ready.” The thought appeared as a silent whisper in the hollow of my mind. I could feel a pull towards the light and closed my eyes once again to experience the tactile sensations that were coming fast. More tears began to flow down the sides of my face and the energy began to pick up speed like an old steam engine with a glowing steel firebox. A moment of regret hedged the spontaneous surrender and in a flash of darkness, the surge ended. There was a tingling on the surface of my body as if tiny tacks were falling from overhead. Then the soles of my feet began to vibrate and I could feel this gentle energy vortex drawing out spinning, electrically charged quarks. But hey what do I know, I’m not a physicist.
What I do know for truth, is that in that moment there was a shift. A much celebrated swing in the energy that was building. What had started as a narrow peep into the keyhole became a pointer to the endless possibilities that are present only when we see the source of the light behind the door.
