{"id":1584,"date":"2010-05-10T14:02:22","date_gmt":"2010-05-10T21:02:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.coolkarma.com\/dharma\/?p=1584"},"modified":"2010-05-10T14:06:22","modified_gmt":"2010-05-10T21:06:22","slug":"missing-mother","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/?p=1584","title":{"rendered":"Missing Mother"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Photo courtesy of my darling daughter Patricia, a gift for me for Mother's Day \ud83d\ude42<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

It’s the second Mother’s Day to pass that I grieve the loss of my mother.\u00a0 She hasn’t died, to the best of my knowing.\u00a0 She simply stopped calling, stopped receiving calls, changed her residence and likely her phone number either that or it is perpetually turned off for the last year and a half.\u00a0 Without a word as to why, the egoic mind fills in the blanks with a myriad of motives and emotions.\u00a0 “She couldn’t accept my wheelchair.”\u00a0 “She felt I wasn’t doing enough to recover.”\u00a0 “She never really loved me.”\u00a0 And the beat goes on.\u00a0 All stories.\u00a0 None of them true, though each likely accurate.\u00a0 I realize my conditioned mind will likely always stir the pot of cellular memories of mother.<\/p>\n

In my enquiry I often wonder what it is that I feel I am missing.\u00a0 Is it the present moment MIA-Mom or the moments she wasn’t present when I felt I needed her during my growing years?\u00a0 Was it really my mother that I missed or Carol Brady, Shirley Partridge and Jaime Sommers combined into the ideal idol of the matriarch?<\/p>\n

I see in my own children such strong longings for parental approval.\u00a0 “Did I do good?”\u00a0 “How do I look in these jeans?”\u00a0 “I made you a cup of tea.\u00a0 Am I your favorite now?”\u00a0 We laugh and joke about my aloof and non-demonstrative nature, but at the end of the day each of my offspring know they are loved unconditionally, admired for who they are and valued as the unique light that they shine upon my path.<\/p>\n

It seems our deepest hooks into suffering come from our closest relationship paradigms.\u00a0 Like a big jigsaw puzzle we continue to try and see where it is we fit in within our family, our workplace, our religion, our politics, our existence itSelf in this illusion we continue to create each day.<\/p>\n

As for Mom … I know in my heart that she and I are One.\u00a0 My missing of the maternal is more about my material longings and misguided notions of my separate sense of self.\u00a0 So as I quietly reconnect to my own EarthMother nature, I can sense the completeness and perfection in this moment as ALONE transmutes into ALL-ONE.<\/p>\n

Happy Mother\u2019s Day.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s the second Mother’s Day to pass that I grieve the loss of my mother.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1584","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dharma"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1584","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1584"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1584\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1590,"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1584\/revisions\/1590"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1584"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1584"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1584"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}