{"id":250,"date":"2008-10-03T20:19:23","date_gmt":"2008-10-04T03:19:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.coolkarma.com\/dharma\/?p=250"},"modified":"2009-04-05T14:20:53","modified_gmt":"2009-04-05T21:20:53","slug":"the-ties-that-bind-us","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/?p=250","title":{"rendered":"The Ties That Bind Us"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>In his book, <em>Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life: The New Acceptance and Commitment Therapy<\/em>, author Steven Hayes uses a metaphor about Aunt Ida to explain how we should invite even our demons into our lives.\u00a0\u00a0 The story goes something like this, imagine you are hosting a family potluck and everyone you know is welcome to attend.\u00a0 Then the doorbell rings and you see through the peephole that it is old Aunt Ida whom you despise.\u00a0 Instead of opening the door, you choose to lean your body against the threshold and hold Aunt Ida OUT.\u00a0 By doing so you are unable to enjoy the party.\u00a0 All you can do is keep your attention on holding the front door shut.\u00a0 Dr. Hayes suggests that it is only by letting Aunt Ida into your home willingly, that you can refocus your energy and attention and ever have a chance to enjoy the party.\u00a0 I asked Steven once, <em>What if Aunt Ida has an oozy? If I believe Aunt Ida is going to kill me if she comes in, then how can I possibly let her into my home? <\/em> Steven&#8217;s replay was as warm as it was blunt, <em>if she really has an oozy then fer $%%^&amp; sake &#8212; stop threatening and fire the damn thing! <\/em><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-251\" title=\"ties-that-bind\" src=\"http:\/\/www.coolkarma.com\/dharma\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/04\/ties-that-bind.jpg\" alt=\"ties-that-bind\" width=\"375\" height=\"301\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/04\/ties-that-bind.jpg 469w, https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/04\/ties-that-bind-300x240.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 375px) 100vw, 375px\" \/>It made logical sense of course.\u00a0 But two years later, I&#8217;m still stuck at the front door holding Aunt Ida at bay.<\/p>\n<p>This morning as I hooked myself up to my bio-feedback machine on the computer &#8211; because I could feel my heart skipping and I just HAD to watch it in living color!\u00a0\u00a0 My eyes glanced down to the USB finger sensor cable and traced it back to the laptop and I realized I was really quite literally tied to this spot.\u00a0 Like holding the door shut, I was fixed to my computer and in both cases unable to enjoy the party.\u00a0 Life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In his book, Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life: The New Acceptance<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-250","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dharma"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/250","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=250"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/250\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":535,"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/250\/revisions\/535"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=250"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=250"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=250"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}