![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.coolkarma.com\/dharma\/wp-content\/uploads\/buddha-lotus-front-225x300.jpg\" "\\"buddha")
I want to be IN peace — And I’m not. My body is wrought with pain and adrenaline, as it seems to be each morning. The tears are close by as if ready at my beck and call. I long for the serenity that I know will be here sometime …. Later. I want to stay in THAT place.<\/p>\n
\nThe place of soft muscles
\nFlowing movements
\nClear thought
\nPEACE<\/address>\n\u00a0<\/address>\n<\/blockquote>\nMy Zen sangha would say that “I” can not be IN peace, for “I” AM Peace at its essence. Fuck the sangha. I am hurting, Now. The New Age Seekers would say I should change my thoughts because I am attracting Non-peace. But I know enough from my Direct Experience that it doesn’t work like that.<\/p>\n
Peace will appear to come
\nPeace will appear absent
\nEverything is always in flux
\nWhen circumstances warrant change
\nChange will appear
\nThere is little doing on my part
\nIf any
\nThough the egoic mind may claim victory
\nWhen the shift occurs
\nIf that habit of ownership is strong
\nWhich is why the Law of Attraction folks
\nAre so easily swayed to believe they have moved the mountain
\nIt is because
\nChange Happens
\nAnd if you are actively engaged in something
\nThen when that change happens
\nYou are apt to own it as your own
\nEven if no evidence exists
\nThat you were the cause or the catalyst<\/p><\/blockquote>\nI realize that for some, this free floating seed in the wind is simply too frightening a concept to embrace. How can I live my life if I am only a non-volitional seed being swept here and there by my circumstance and surroundings? So we fabricate a story that suits our mind and soothes the soul that we believe we have.<\/p>\n
I am One
\nI am THE One
\nThere is Only One
\nTo be that which watches the wind
\nand the seed
\nTHAT is the fruit
\nof my enquiry
\nBecause that is the experience
\nThat bears fruit time and again
\nThere is this being in pain and fear
\nAnd at the same time there is this
\nPresence
\nThat is watching
\nAll of This
\nUnfold
\nI am at the same time
\nThe Fear Body
\nand
\nThat
\nWhich is Witness
\nTo the body that feels fear
\nAnd that witnessing presence
\nIs already and always
\nAt Peace<\/address>\nAhhhh …<\/p>\n
Finally a shift<\/p>\n
The sense of harmony fills my lungs as I breath deeply and release completely and recognize the moment of synchronicity when my Desire for Peace and my perceived state of peacefulness are in alignment. Even knowing that it will not last doesn’t matter in this moment. Because the deep, albeit non-abiding, recognition that<\/p>\n
I am the witness and the body provides enough solidity to allow my Self to<\/p>\n
Float
\nFreely
\nIn the wind . . .<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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