{"id":2923,"date":"2013-01-07T10:20:03","date_gmt":"2013-01-07T17:20:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.coolkarma.com\/dharma\/?p=2923"},"modified":"2013-01-07T10:20:17","modified_gmt":"2013-01-07T17:20:17","slug":"soft-smile","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/?p=2923","title":{"rendered":"~Soft Smile~"},"content":{"rendered":"

Egoic Mind:<\/em> At times there is a sweeping dissatisfaction with my life.\u00a0 At times there are feelings of great joy, without awareness of said unease.\u00a0 On a few seldom occasions there is stillness.\u00a0 What is real?<\/p>\n

Gnani<\/strong>: All and everything.<\/p>\n

Egoic Mind:<\/em>\u00a0 And yet nothing, I suppose.\u00a0 That’s trite.\u00a0 Bubblegum guru bullshit.<\/p>\n

Gnani<\/strong>: The mind would want you to believe that, for it wants to remain in control of the chaos.<\/p>\n

Egoic Mind:<\/em>\u00a0 I see that the mind creates turbulence, even in still waters. I DO apperceive that.<\/p>\n

Gnani<\/strong>:\u00a0 It wants to be the Queen of the Chaos.\u00a0 Wanting you to believe in its omnipotence and wanting you to serve its every whim.<\/p>\n

Egoic Mind:<\/em>\u00a0 And yet it has an insatiable appetite and can never be appeased.\u00a0 I do see that as well.\u00a0 I have noticed the inner dialog at times that is always surveying the landscape of the mind … it asks “what can I do for myself in this moment?”\u00a0 Not in an overly selfish way … but to ease the physical pain, or otherwise still the din of the mental noise.\u00a0 It is always looking around, searching and seeking ways to BE COMFORTABLE.\u00a0 I see it all around me as well, the urge and desire to be “free” of human pain.\u00a0 We seek sangha and therapy sessions to try and unravel the “mystery” of our mind.\u00a0 “Why did my mother leave?”, “Why am I still holding on to this anger?”, “How could I have done that stupid thing?”\u00a0 At the core seems to be a belief that if we FIGURE IT OUT, that our suffering will end.<\/p>\n

Gnani<\/strong>: And yet, you have seen that for the vast majority of those people, your “self” included that the suffering does not end.\u00a0 Why is that?<\/p>\n

Egoic Mind:<\/em>\u00a0 Because the mind is the one doing the seeking and it has no desire or intention of truly alleviating its own pain.\u00a0 Shocking as that may sound.\u00a0 At best the mind is a tabloid news reporter.\u00a0 It thrives on drama and mayhem.\u00a0 It seeks it out, sensationalizes what it finds and plays the newsreel over and over in our head.<\/p>\n

Gnani<\/strong>:\u00a0 Go on.<\/p>\n

Egoic Mind:<\/em>\u00a0 No.\u00a0 I find that utterly too depressing a thought.\u00a0 It makes me feel “trapped” inside a Machiavellian mental machine.\u00a0 I don’t want to believe that.\u00a0 I don’t want to feel helpless.<\/p>\n

Gnani<\/strong>:\u00a0 Keep going.\u00a0 The mind wants you to stop here before you SEE.\u00a0 It wants you to SETTLE for the half truth.<\/p>\n

Egoic Mind:<\/em>\u00a0 What is the full truth that I am missing?<\/p>\n

Gnani<\/strong>:\u00a0 Keep going.<\/p>\n

Egoic Mind:<\/em>\u00a0 Okay, the mind as a tabloid news reporter.\u00a0 I see that.\u00a0 I see the news conferences it holds, I see it trying to rope other people in for higher ratings and I see that these tactics do not lead to any reduction in suffering for any length of time.\u00a0 That is to say, there may be a brief respite when one fire is doused, and perhaps even the crowd cheers for a moment at the “victory” —\u00a0 but it can only be a transient feeling of relief, because the next “natural” disaster is looming on the horizon.\u00a0 And even though the questions may appear to change, “Why don’t I feel loved?”, “How could she hurt me like that?”, “Why do I put up with this abuse?” … it is really only mutterings of dissatisfaction that the mind is creating in order to reign supreme in the land of chaos.<\/p>\n

Gnani<\/strong>:\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 That is the partial truth.\u00a0 There is more though that the “I” can not see.<\/p>\n

Egoic Mind:<\/em> I’m lost in the egoic mind at the moment.\u00a0 I am sure I can recite bubble gum guru-isms back at you, but I can not FEEL it right now.<\/p>\n

Gnani<\/strong>:\u00a0 Simply NOTICE the stillness right now.\u00a0 Without effort or urgency.\u00a0 Simply SEE what is here, right now.<\/p>\n

{pause}<\/p>\n

Egoic Mind:<\/em>\u00a0 When there are NO WORDS left, or no stories to follow … there a feeling of a soft smile<\/em> all around me.\u00a0 I know that sounds strange, but it is the best reach for words to match something that is not quite possible to describe.\u00a0 A soft smile.<\/em> <\/strong><\/p>\n

Gnani<\/strong>: Indeed words do not matter.\u00a0 Words and logic and reason are all tools of the false sense of self.\u00a0 You need not try and convince “it” of anything.<\/p>\n

Egoic Mind:<\/em>\u00a0 So what IS the truth?\u00a0 And what do I DO about it?\u00a0 How do I quit my job as a tabloid news reporter and stop being so self obsessed with “being comfortable”?<\/p>\n

Gnani<\/strong>:\u00a0 There is an apperceivable shift from the striving of “being comfortable” to the Truth of BEING.<\/p>\n

Egoic Mind:<\/em>\u00a0 I can hear the argument in my head … some version of never amounting to anything if we all sat around in our “beingness”. Because the mind wants to be in control of the chaos and if it put down the video camera with the live feed for the 6 o’clock news, it believes that the world would end.<\/p>\n

Gnani<\/strong>:\u00a0 And it will.<\/p>\n

Egoic Mind:<\/em>\u00a0 Well damn if its gonna happen now!\u00a0 No one wants their world to END!<\/p>\n

Gnani<\/strong>:\u00a0 Which is why, so many suffer for so long.\u00a0 And even those who claim to be seeking an end to the suffering are really only placating the network executives at Chaos Central Station.<\/p>\n

Egoic Mind:<\/em>\u00a0 Okay, so I know this “soft smile” to be the Truth.\u00a0 Call it the “witness that watches” or the Beingness, or the Presence, by whatever name or Author Unknown, I know without a doubt that it exists.\u00a0 Because that is my experience, despite my mind’s attempt to discredit or ignore that fact.\u00a0 I know Truth exists.\u00a0 Now … what do I DO about it?<\/p>\n

Gnani<\/strong>: Doing is still an action undertaken by the minions of the mind that live for the next battle.\u00a0 There is no war to win.<\/p>\n

Egoic Mind:<\/em>\u00a0 Then I will be doomed to suffer for as long as I have an active mind.<\/p>\n

Gnani<\/strong>:\u00a0 Take again the example of the tabloid news reporter.\u00a0 Right now there are live news streams going on that are reporting crisis around the world.\u00a0 Are there not?<\/p>\n

Egoic Mind:<\/em>\u00a0 There always is.\u00a0 So yes, I imagine that there are now, on one of the 720 channels on the satellite network.\u00a0 But I don’t have the TV on.\u00a0\u00a0 Oh!\u00a0 I get it.\u00a0 I make a choice, not to watch it.\u00a0 There ARE 720 metaphoric channels at any given time and I can choose which one I tune in.<\/p>\n

Gnani<\/strong>: (soft smile)<\/p>\n

Egoic Mind:<\/em> I am not only the broadcast network for the queen of chaos, I am also a universal RECEIVER.\u00a0 I can pick up all of the channels on this mental DVR, but I don’t ever have to sit down and WATCH any of them.\u00a0 I can change my focus.<\/p>\n

Gnani<\/strong>:\u00a0 But there are real world problems, people are starving, injustices abound …<\/p>\n

Egoic Mind:<\/em>\u00a0 Yes, I hear that mental “defense” … I can not simply “ignore” the pain and suffering.\u00a0 But watching it passively on the news, does nothing for the betterment of any sentient being.\u00a0 Actions when possible, will come.\u00a0 And they will come from the stillness … the smile of compassion.\u00a0 When I can truly help, I will.\u00a0 When it is possible to reduce even my own suffering, it will be done.\u00a0 But in the copious free time of the hallows of the mind … I need not turn on the fox hunt of the tabloid press.\u00a0 I do not have to spend my energy in researching the crisis of the mind.<\/p>\n

Gnani<\/strong>: Is that so?<\/p>\n

Egoic Mind:<\/em>\u00a0 Well SHIT, don’t confuse me.\u00a0 I thought that I HAD IT.<\/p>\n

Gnani<\/strong>:\u00a0 Well then, keep THINKING … or … consider … right now …<\/p>\n

Egoic Mind:<\/em> Feeling the soft smile.\u00a0\u00a0 Yes.<\/p>\n

Gnani<\/strong>:\u00a0 Yes.<\/p>\n

Egoic Mind:<\/em>\u00a0 But you know .. there isn’t anything more to write about when I am in that place of “peace”.\u00a0 There aren’t any words left.<\/p>\n

Gnani<\/strong>:\u00a0 (soft smile)<\/p>\n

Egoic Mind:<\/em> Deep bow.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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