{"id":3171,"date":"2013-09-27T12:10:40","date_gmt":"2013-09-27T19:10:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.coolkarma.com\/dharma\/?p=3171"},"modified":"2013-09-27T12:10:40","modified_gmt":"2013-09-27T19:10:40","slug":"when-the-now-goes-missing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/?p=3171","title":{"rendered":"When the Now goes Missing"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"boxes\"<\/a>Its been two months since we’ve moved into our new home, 66 days, 13 hours and 45 minutes … but time is an illusion right?\u00a0 We have unpacked many of the boxes, but there are still a dozen+ that are pushed into corners, put up on shelves in the garage or piled in bunches on the backyard patio.\u00a0 Clearly they must be “unessential” because if we “really needed” something we would have gone hunting for it by now.<\/p>\n

Somewhere in one of those boxes is my kitchen can opener.\u00a0 I use to have a large handled crank style manual can opener that was designed for people who had painful joints.\u00a0 I actually have a very strong grip … but I like things EASY, especially when I’m cooking.\u00a0 We found an old camping crank and have been using that for the few cans I’ve opened since the move.\u00a0 But in truth, I haven’t been well enough to cook, so I haven’t been in the kitchen much of late.\u00a0 I am quite sure that I have eaten more frozen meals this past summer than I have in my fifty years. I use to think that our new fridge was decidedly too big for our needs.\u00a0 But now I realize that I can really stock up on anything when its on sale.\u00a0 So yes, I did buy 42 single entrees last week when I did my online shopping.\u00a0 Because I need things to be EASY for a little while, until I get my strength back.<\/p>\n

Occassionally I feel I WANT something from those unemptied boxes and I’ll go digging for it, only to have my Macgyver boyfriend find it in the blink of an eye.\u00a0 I am always impressed by both the photographic mind and the complete mindlessness that lives inside that man.\u00a0 Non-dual in the flesh.\u00a0 One of the things that we haven’t unpacked are the books.\u00a0 Mind you we donated dozens if not hundreds of books before the move.\u00a0 I did my very best to feng shui my library prior to starting our new life.\u00a0 Discarding many of the “self-help” books which turned out to fall short of their genre, putting aside the early childhood books for my eldest daughter and passing on the ones who’s idealogy didn’t need to come with me as I turn the corner into my senior years.<\/p>\n

I did however keep my Zen.\u00a0 My bookshelf teachers have always been a source of great comfort.\u00a0 They are my church, my sangha and my sanctuary when I feel the need to bury myself in the dharma.\u00a0 I have books from each tradition but whatever words they choose, the paths all still seem to point to the universal Truth.\u00a0 They all tell the tale of our search.\u00a0 The end of suffering.\u00a0 Of Grace and Gratitude.\u00a0 Most of the time I read a book and leave it sit on the shelf.\u00a0 Rarely do I pick up the same book and read it again cover to cover.\u00a0 Though I may glance through the pages looking for a morsel if my spirit is hungry.\u00a0 And lately I’ve been craving Presence.\u00a0 So I wanted to put my hands on “The Power of Now”, by Echart Tolle.\u00a0 Mind you, I have the book on audio and I have my daughter’s kindle which can access it for free from the lending library on Amazon prime.\u00a0 That is if I can find the charger for the kindle.\u00a0 Hmmmm.\u00a0 I don’t think that’s even IN one of MY unopened boxes.<\/p>\n

Apparently neither is my hard cover of Echart’s book.\u00a0 I found A New Earth<\/a>, every book that James Redfield<\/a> published, a cadra of Chopra<\/a>, plenty of Maharaj<\/a>, inspirations from Florence Scovel Shinn<\/a>, the Guide to the Four Agreements by Don Migeul Ruiz<\/a>, but apparently the Four Agreements must have taken a walk.\u00a0 But nowhere could I uncover the whereabouts of The Power of Now.\u00a0 Ironic?\u00a0 I have long ago realized that The Universe has a twisted sense of humor.<\/p>\n

So I bit the bullet and bought a “new” copy of the book.\u00a0 Even though I have it on audio.\u00a0 Even though it must still be loaded on the uncharged kindle my daughter left for me.\u00a0 Even though I pride myself on being “frugal”.\u00a0 I went on Amazon and scoured for a used copy of the book and picked one up for $5.27 including two day shipping.\u00a0 I also picked up another pocket copy of the Four Agreements, because I’m SURE I’m breaking at least half of those these days on a regular basis.\u00a0 One day I most certainly will have to buy another can opener.\u00a0 But at the moment, it didn’t make my have-to-have-right-NOW<\/strong><\/em> list.<\/p>\n

Most things can<\/em> wait.\u00a0 I’ve been waiting<\/em> to feel better for a very long time now.\u00a0 And recently made a wallowing-in-my-misery<\/em> status post on facebook where I threw my hands up in the air in the realization that this MAY BE as good as it gets and the waiting game had to come to an end.\u00a0 Of course it was met with the very well meaning kind souls who came offering affirmations and beliefs of the power of positive thinking.\u00a0 But it is simply not my direct experience that hope and happiness go hand in hand.\u00a0 I am struggling these days with an unworkable package of limitation on most every front in my life.\u00a0 But not at the expense of gratitude and Grace.<\/p>\n

As a friend put it in reply to my wallowing … “Try to find just a little fun and beauty in each day.”\u00a0\u00a0 If there is a grand purpose in life, I must say this would be close to the top of the list.\u00a0 Even at my lowest moments, I do practice stopping, and smiling at even the smallest of nature’s offerings.\u00a0 The path of the feather, the radiant moon that has lingered into the morning sky, the sleeping puppy who twitches in her dreams.\u00a0 I am filled with unconditional love to the point I could burst.<\/p>\n

I recognize the awe even when the shockwaves of pain rush through my shoulders and up the back of my neck.\u00a0 All we have is right Now.\u00a0 Even if we can’t put our hands on it, in the moment.\u00a0 Its there.\u00a0 But if we keep digging for it in the box of old things<\/b><\/i>, we will never meet it face to face, now will we?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Its been two months since we’ve moved into our new home, 66 days, 13 hours<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3171","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dharma"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3171","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3171"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3171\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3177,"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3171\/revisions\/3177"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3171"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3171"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3171"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}