![\"rohatsu\"](\"http:\/\/www.coolkarma.com\/dharma\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/09\/rohatsu.jpg\" "\\"rohatsu\\"")
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Being born into an Italian Catholic family, I knew that my birthday, December 8th<\/sup>, was a holy day in the Church.\u00a0 The day of Immaculate Conception, deemed by Pope Pius IX in 1854 as the day that the Virgin Mother herSelf <\/em>was conceived (through normal means) and God granted her to be born without the stain of original sin.\u00a0 Apparently this was an important precept for her to later be chosen to give birth to Jesus.\u00a0 Ironic that now my own first born is celebrating the High Holy Day in Italy this year where it is a national holiday.<\/p>\n Not much stuck with me of those Roman Catholic roots, but as I studied the path of the Buddha I certainly gained more and more appreciation of the Enlightenment of Jesus.\u00a0 Indeed as my own eyes opened wider to the canvas to see the perfection of creation, the solid lines that define each religious dogma seem to blur in an impressionistic mural of the Great Garden.\u00a0 Truth is truth.<\/p>\n In a wonderful tale of irony I learned this year that December 8th<\/sup> is also a sacred day in the Zen tradition.\u00a0 Rohatsu, which translates literally to December 8 in Japanese, is the day that the Buddha became enlightened.\u00a0 It is tradition for many followers of Zazen to go into a weeklong retreat leading up to the day of awakening.\u00a0 We are walking in the footsteps of the Buddha so to speak … more like sitting with aching abs and arthritic knees of the Buddha in practicum.<\/p>\n As Grace would have it, there was a special first of its kind two day live on-line Rohatsu Zazen retreat, free and open to the public on the Internet.\u00a0 I studied with daily sit-a-longs with the Soto Monk who was offering the retreat for two weeks prior to the event.\u00a0 We learned how to walk, eat and even how to pee during a retreat!\u00a0 Seems the Catholic Church isn’t the only one with pomp and circumstance around this holy marker.<\/p>\n My own health and journey had never before allowed me an opportunity to participate in a live retreat.\u00a0 But I have shared in a many a virtual sangha communities over the years and I humbled at the honor of being able to join a live Japanese Soto Zen retreat.<\/p>\n My mind had many days of anticipation prior to the weekend Rohatsu sit.\u00a0 People on the path like to talk up how important retreats are for the serious Zazen student.\u00a0 There is said to be a whole new dimension of Zen when you are still and silent for long periods of time.\u00a0 So I was very eager to jump in and join the other zaffu extremists for my first Rohatsu Rumble!<\/p>\n For health reasons, I divided the two day live event into three days with periods of live and pre-recorded sessions.\u00a0 The teacher was flexible in his practice to acknowledge that many of us would need to make some accommodations during the retreat.\u00a0 Not everyone can sit full lotus facing a wall for two days!\u00a0 So I was prepared to allow the wisdom of my body to lead me through creative solutions that would allow me to participate fully while not fully destroying my body.<\/p>\n As I sat with laptop at my side, a small Buddha statue on a make shift alter in the bedroom and eyes softly focused on the wall … I began the first sit of the sesshin.<\/p>\n Wow, what a good meditator you are!\u00a0 This is really a cool thing you are doing.\u00a0 It takes a lot of willpower to do a retreat like this.\u00a0 You are really special.\u00a0 This takes as much training as running a marathon.\u00a0 Why do people say contemplating your navel is not living.\u00a0 This is important.\u00a0 I am good at this.\u00a0 Maybe I’ll have a break in the clouds and become fully awake just like the Buddha. <\/em><\/p>\n My eyes sneak a peak at the time remaining in the first unit.\u00a0 Five whole minutes had passed and my mind was like a runaway train!<\/p>\n Ok, back on track!\u00a0 Be present!\u00a0 Right here, right now.\u00a0 Follow your breath!\u00a0 Let all thought of good or bad blow away and return to this moment! <\/em><\/p>\n I take a full breath in and slowly release it in complete stillness.\u00a0 Then I am once again off and running!<\/p>\n I wonder if I am going to be able to do this whole retreat.\u00a0 What if I can’t?\u00a0 What if I fail at this and miss my only chance to become enlightened?\u00a0 What if I go crazy from lack of the mental stimulus and vocal deprivation?\u00a0 My back hurts.\u00a0 Christ!\u00a0 If my back hurts now in the first Zazen of the retreat how can I possibly make it for the long haul?\u00a0 Oh crap, I am thinking again.\u00a0 What a miserable student I am.\u00a0 I bet by the end of this retreat my mind will give up.\u00a0 It will get so tired of going round and round with the same old thoughts over and over that it will just spontaneously shut down … and all that will be left is peace and stillness.\u00a0 Yeah, I bet that’s what happens.\u00a0 Crap.\u00a0 I am still thinking.\u00a0 Come back to this breath you idiot!<\/em><\/p>\n It turns out … the mind that you had BEFORE the retreat is the same mind that comes along for the retreat!\u00a0 And small wonder it is the same mind that you have at the end of the retreat.\u00a0 But somehow, and maybe it is the deprivation, somehow there is just a little more space for the mind to be exactly as it is.<\/p>\n Gassho.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Being born into an Italian Catholic family, I knew that my birthday, December 8th, was<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[12,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-358","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dharma","category-satori"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/358","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=358"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/358\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":558,"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/358\/revisions\/558"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=358"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=358"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=358"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}