{"id":4999,"date":"2019-07-24T08:09:47","date_gmt":"2019-07-24T15:09:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/?p=4999"},"modified":"2019-07-24T08:11:25","modified_gmt":"2019-07-24T15:11:25","slug":"4999","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/?p=4999","title":{"rendered":"Veggie Bougie"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"768\" height=\"1024\" src=\"http:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/VeggieBougie-768x1024.png\" alt=\"Given new lawsuits against the right to call a veggie burger a burger ... Here's the latest news you need to know!\n\nVeggie Burgers will now be called veggie bougie because you know all those vegans just wannabe fancy.\n\nSoymilk must be referred to as BeanJuice (pending lawsuit from Florida orange growers who are mounting a campaign against using the term juice)\n\nRice and Almond Milks will be called Empty Calories because well they ARE.\n\nVeggie Dogs will be called Bad Homburg because it's a city next to Frankfort Germany.\n\nMargherita Pizza will simply be outlawed across the US because it offends both pepperoni producers who insist it can not call itself pizza and bartenders who claim it hurts happy hour profits by confusing their clientele.\n\nEggs will also be banned moving forward not because of the recent rash of food laws, but ignorant activists have now determined all eggs have personhood rights and must be hatched or risk jail time.\n\n\n\" class=\"wp-image-5000\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/VeggieBougie-768x1024.png 768w, https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/VeggieBougie-225x300.png 225w, https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/VeggieBougie.png 900w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px\" \/><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4999","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4999","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4999"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4999\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5002,"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4999\/revisions\/5002"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4999"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4999"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4999"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}