{"id":83,"date":"2008-04-29T16:36:06","date_gmt":"2008-04-29T23:36:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.coolkarma.com\/dharma\/?p=83"},"modified":"2009-04-05T13:49:31","modified_gmt":"2009-04-05T20:49:31","slug":"the-midnight-sun","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/?p=83","title":{"rendered":"The Midnight Sun"},"content":{"rendered":"

EGOIC MIND:<\/em> I feel a deep urge (rut) to go to the hospital and insist they “figure this out” … my thyroid, my glucose, I have no idea but the flares seem to come most frequently after eating and it scares me.\u00a0 I hate them.\u00a0 It feels like I can have no life until they go away and they aren’t going away.\u00a0 I find one thing (iodine in my vitamin) and I think it will help.\u00a0 But it doesn’t seem to be the case.\u00a0 I don’t know what to do.\u00a0 I don’t know how to live this life with this hand I have been dealt.\u00a0 I don’t know what to do.\u00a0 I can’t handle this.\u00a0 And doing nothing is impossible.\u00a0 DAMN.\u00a0 I ask the same thing time and again and I get no further along reaching “an answer” that I can assimilate.\u00a0 So what can I do?<\/p>\n

Gnani: <\/strong>Tell me about the experience “after” the flare.\u00a0 What is that like?<\/p>\n

EGOIC MIND:<\/em> Sometimes it is quite amazing.\u00a0 Sometimes after the flare there is a vast stillness, a feeling of peace and content that seems in direct contrast to the terror my body faced only moments ago.\u00a0 So what of it?\u00a0 I still can’t seem to hold out for the feeling to pass.\u00a0 I still have a deep urge to “figure it out” and resolve this once and for all.\u00a0 I want my life back.\u00a0 I want to go outside and go to stores and have the energy to follow my dreams.\u00a0 I want it all.<\/p>\n

Gnani: <\/strong>In the world of the body\/mind you are limited by the impermanence of form.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The mind can not “have it all”, not now, not ever.\u00a0 But what you are IS ALL THERE IS already.\u00a0 What you must do is stop seeking answers on the level of form and realize that what you are seeking you already ARE.<\/p>\n

EGOIC MIND:<\/em> While I know this in my head and believe this deeply in moments when my body is still … how do I hold on to this “knowing” when my body is in deep flare and my mind is in mental anguish.\u00a0 Where is this “all knowing” presence when I am lost in the egoic mind?<\/p>\n

Gnani: <\/strong>Where is the sun at midnight?\u00a0 Can you still feel it’s warmth in the core of your body?\u00a0 Can you close your eyes and feel the light even in a room of total darkness?\u00a0 You ARE the light.\u00a0 You can experience your Beingness at any moment – even when your body and mind are clouding your understanding – by turning your attention to the fire inside.\u00a0 Do not mistake the heat for horror.\u00a0 It is the burning desire for truth that will lead you out of the miasma of your mind.\u00a0 Let it be ablaze.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

EGOIC MIND: I feel a deep urge (rut) to go to the hospital and insist<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-83","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-gnani"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/83","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=83"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/83\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":85,"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/83\/revisions\/85"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=83"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=83"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.karmabytes.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=83"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}