The Crow’s Cage

Yesterday I was fortunate to be able to get out to the park for a little while. Since the crash earlier this month even getting downstairs has been a challenge. I’ve dropped near 10 pounds in a matter of days and my standing heart rate hovers above 150+ instead of my typical tachy norm of 120 with mild exertion. It may not sound like a big difference, but from where I stand on shaking legs it is the shift from being able to be over at the stove cooking dinner to noticeably gasping for air as if I was in the middle of a high cardio kick boxing class. Sure I can do it … but not for long.

Enough said, the park was a nice break from this particular POTS-PIT that I find myself trapped within. Small wonder then when we arrived at the grassy knoll we spotted a large black crow that seemed trapped within a chain link high voltage enclosure. I grabbed my cane and my pocket video camera (priorities!) and headed over to get a bird’s eye view.

There was a flock of crows in the near by trees that would occasionally take to flight and circle over head with loud battle cries as their comrad repeatedly flew into the wire mesh unable to escape this unintended bird cage. The edges of his wings were all frayed and he appeared weak and disoriented. But then again it could easily have been an anthropomorphication of my own weakened state. The walls were perhaps 8 feet tall and the 10 x 10 enclosure was covered with more chain link panels. It seemed impossible for the crow to have gotten in, let alone find a way out of the steel trap. Then my eyes spotted a bent corner perhaps 18 inches tall and a foot wide that was on the ground in the middle of one of the walls. I imagined that the flock must have been walking around on the ground when this curious fellow meandered through the crack only to become dumbfounded when he took to the air and hit his head on the roof of the cage. No telling how long he’d been fruitless in his efforts.

I reached for some nuts and raisins that I keep in my purse and placed them inside of the makeshift egress, then moved away and sat in a crouch waiting to see if my signal helped to orient the flustered feathered sentient. Crash. Squak. Slam. The crow seemed hell bent on seeking only the highest points in the cage looking for a way out. I guess it seemed unintuitive to think about going DOWN when you really wanted to be UP in the sky.

Like turning into the skid on the icy road, sometimes life presents us with contradictions that are all but impossible to wrap our head around. How can I be this sick again? What happened this time in my body to cause this metabolic shift? How do I crawl up out of this hole? Whole. Holy. Ahhhh … deep breath indeed.

Two parks and recreation workers came by to try their set of keys and even offer up some cold spaghetti for the black bird. But ultimately there was nothing any of us could do. I focused all my energy on seeing the winged spirit find the opening in the not so gilded cage. We were perhaps there for 10 minutes or more, but it was the first time that I remembered that I had my little pocket cam. I turned it on and within 28 seconds and a wonderful gift of perfect timing from Grace I was able to capture the crows long awaited moment of freedom. Not through the well baited opening, but unimaginably squeezing between two tight bars in the corner of the structure. Cheers from the park staff met with out own gasps and smiles at the triumph.

And while I am certain it is easy to tie a metaphor around the crow in the cage, spinning my Zen to look for meaning at the gateless gate … instead what lurks in the hollows of my hindsight …. Quoth the Raven, “Nevermore.”

[flv image=”http://www.coolkarma.com/dharma/wp-content/uploads/crow-fence1.jpg” width=”720″ height=”480″]http://coolkarma.com/video/crow.flv[/flv]