Veggie Bougie

Given new lawsuits against the right to call a veggie burger a burger ... Here's the latest news you need to know! Veggie Burgers will now be called veggie bougie because you know all those vegans just wannabe fancy. Soymilk must be referred to as BeanJuice (pending lawsuit from Florida orange growers who are mounting a campaign against using the term juice) Rice and Almond Milks will be called Empty Calories because well they ARE. Veggie Dogs will be called Bad Homburg because it's a city next to Frankfort Germany. Margherita Pizza will simply be outlawed across the US because it offends both pepperoni producers who insist it can not call itself pizza and bartenders who claim it hurts happy hour profits by confusing their clientele. Eggs will also be banned moving forward not because of the recent rash of food laws, but ignorant activists have now determined all eggs have personhood rights and must be hatched or risk jail time.

Judging

Judging

Who’s in charge?

Who’s in charge?

Laptop Heater

Laptop Heater

That one friend…

That one friend…

Fitted Sheet Marathon

Fitted Sheet Marathon

Louder Laughtrack

Louder Laughtrack

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