It’s Been A Week

We lost our high speed network a week ago when the tree trimmers hired by the electric company thought nothing of cutting our fiber connection because the line “didn’t look in use“. There’s a lot to unpack in terms of how we each navigated the thin line of a spotty cell plan data (Can you hear me now?). Of course there’s stories of hot spots and adding more bits and bytes to existing phone lines so that folks could “get by” at a snails pace. There’s also the indignant remarks made by “unaware” crew who suggested we “simply go to Starbucks” because they couldn’t fathom that anyone actually does anything of value inside our multigen home of 10. Despite telling each rogue actor that we have people who work from home, or who are telehealth professionals, or are home schooled, or chronically ill and housebound so Starbucks isn’t an option bucko! No one on the outside really seemed to understand the dire straights we were in.

I could tell a Hallmark story about how we all rose to the occasion, learned that we really didn’t need social media to be social. How we spent more time together as a family and sang Kumbaya around a fire ever night without even giving a thought about our technology dead in the corners of our rooms. But that’s bullshit. None of that happened. Because each of us have routines and schedules that work for our bodies and our brains to maximize how we cope, hope and tight-rope the slippery slope of managing life limiting illness with what we wake up with every day. And for the last 7 days that was without band width that in every sense of the word is our Life Line.

Now having said that, we certainly each gave it our all — helping each other score as much bandwidth on a whim as possible. Recently I have been experiencing personal health issues that preceded the dark days of dial-up flashbacks and I have to say every one of my family members was more than generous to put up with my crisis on top of their already over filled plates. I am deeply grateful.

There were hours of phone calls, often ending in tears of frustration as my eldest tried to navigate the broken phone trees and “supervisors” who had neither intention nor resources to be able to help our situation. HOURS on HOLD. EVERY. DAY.

I realized also how much I rely on my various technical interests as a means to help paddle my canoe. I mesh, I talk with AI for scripting support but I also tend to talk with AI in general and that was a felt loss. Even the phone though still technically working, was for the most part dead in the water because we rely on wifi for signal strength — especially in the concrete old walls in my part of the house. So I was very isolated in a way that I do not often find myself. Even the small things … like watching REELS on social media which would have to buffer every five seconds where not an option. All the little creature comforts that make life if not comfortable at least some semblance of serene in an otherwise muddy mind. 

There’s small pieces in my heart that will resonate and reverb … like the seven year old asking him Mom repeatedly “Why is the network down?” Because at some level it just didn’t make sense in terms of the world as he knows it. I realized deeply how intertwined my life is with the technology at my fingertips. From the pool filter app, all of the outdoor wifi cameras inaccessible and THIS WEEK when THE BEAR is back in our neighborhood! What timing. And timers on the sprinkler systems were unable to be controlled. We also use “Alexia” as an invaluable personal assistant … reminding us when to give one of the dogs insulin, when to take our own medication, when to do a water change on any one of the four aquariums or the outside pond. Not to mention turning on/off the lights, the TV and checking ambient temperature in the room. It may sound trivial, but when you have a medical condition that messes with your autonomic system .. having these external systems in place are not “conveniences” they are the means to which you are barely getting by.

And that’s what we each did .. we barely got by. At times we’d pass each other in the hall .. zombies on patrol with no particular destination. I certainly spent a lot of time at the pond. When my body afforded me the upright time to do so. And I did my very best to focus on the present moment wonders of the world … until my body demanded attention and my world turned upside down.

Each and every one of my family members actually did an extraordinary job picking up the pieces of their life and navigating a new world for themselves this week and Tricia did so with one man down, as her husband was up in Silicon Valley for work where his bandwidth was a pipe dream of envy. Tricia maximized the unlimited slow speed hotspots to download programs for her two kids, one of which would have his fifth birthday right in the middle of the 2024 No Network crisis. Tony spent a lot more time with Buttercup playing outside, and certainly more time with his very large collection of DVDs that Tricia also browsed as a lending library. Dan and Marilyn had their hands full figuring out how to very quickly take manual control of gecko habitats that relied on internet access and scrambled to find how they each could still “connect” with their worlds in some way, shape or avatar form while we were in single digits mega bits. Martha was quick to find her RECORD PLAYER and take to productive organizational tasks, as well as finding ways to meet her client’s needs without missing a beat .. though sometimes dropping calls as service was sketchy at best.

In a very real way, I wouldn’t have made it this week without my family. They are my inspiration to be the best that I can be and to keep on going when I can’t see beyond the headlights in the fog in front of me. My husband was without his social constructs too this week. No TV, no virtual worlds and the added pressure of my issues thrown on top of his limited resources and energy. But through it all, he was solid and centered. I know that didn’t come easy for him and even a few years ago it may not have been possible. But he does a lot of self work and it shows. 

The ironic … one day I’m sure we’ll look back and laugh moment (but not any damn time soon) was that when the electric company tree trimmers initially BROKE the fiber optic cable to our world, the first person the “cable company” sent out only worked in coax and they needed to send the “fiber guy”. Which they did. But for whatever reason the redneck and the fiber optic tech were unable to access sufficient translation tables where they could understand what was being said. Suffice to say after expressions such as “I’ve worked at this job for 18 years, I don’t need anyone telling me how to do my job”  … the productive potential for any conversation had passed. So the southern man, walked away. Knowing that the fiber only needed to be reconnected at the pole. But instead we were all now at the mercy of the only gig provider in town. Who instead orchestrated an elaborate new fiber installation from a hub located more than a block away. Insisting that the only way we could reconnect our service was to run a new fiber line from that hub. Turns out there is no department in this company who is capable of an “air drop” and they would have to third party out source for a new fiber optic cable to our home. There were of course futile attempts during the HOURS ON HOLD to beg for another technician to come out and actually LOOK AT our telephone pole. All met with equally hostile, misinformed and uncooperative support staff who insisted that wasn’t possible. Long story .. still long, short wasn’t an option … when the ACTUAL Fiber Installation Expert came out today, again without a bucket truck to get UP to the very tall pole but who agreed to go out of his way (and safety guidelines) to use a rickety old ladder to CLIMB the utility pole and who installed that new fiber all the way down to where his work order indicated he needed to run the new line and attach it all the way to our house only to find that the line was dark. Instead, he checked the pole and realized all that needed to be done was to make a connection THERE AT THE POLE which is what my husband told the first guy last week when this whole mess could have been resolved day one.

But that’s water under the wifi bridge now. We live in unprecedented hard times in a post pandemic world with more uncertainty than ever before on every level. Folks everywhere are operating under unique pressures that we can’t see beneath the surface. What seems like rude incompetence is no doubt couched in insufficient resources and personal pain that we can’t begin to understand. As best we can, we remind ourselves that our own kindness and grace can go a long way. Maybe not today, or even in the foreseeable future … but we can plant a seed, pay it forward and kick up our own self care as we try and tap into our life lines that give us support and structure and if it helps light a fire and sing Kumbaya.