Burnt Ends

Burnt ends are the trimmings from a smoked brisket. But TikTok will tell you that you can make them out of hotdogs Maybe burnt ends trending is a metaphor that we are all looking to make the best out of these hard times. And while the recession of the early 1920‘s following the preceding pandemic of 1918 might predict our current economic woes, I’m not sure any of us fully appreciate how burned out each of us are after years of a global health crisis. However whether we were impacted by the loss of someone dear to us or determined to be inconvenienced by wearing a mask in public, each of us on a certain level experienced stress that may only now be rising to the surface as we slowly come out of basic survival mode. And just as anxiety and depression are more prevalent (25% increase world wide) it’s no surprise that the on-line therapy are popping up more than scam virus warnings oh phishing sites. That said, the southern comfort gentleman and I both are delighted and blessed to have found a therapist online who has been helping us with the stress of declining health in uncertain times. We can’t say enough about reaching out for support even BEFORE you are at your own burnt ends.

Which leads me to my not-so-shaggy dog story about these amazing wonderful kefir pancakes. I’m not sure why it is that milk is hard to come by lately, could be supply chain issues or the California Water Crisis which is a challenge to dairy production. But last week there was no buttermilk on the shelves so instead I opted to try kefir in our weekend whole wheat flapjacks. It was really delightful, the fermentation made the baking powder and soda really perk up. Creating a light and airy pancake despite the heavier flour. We did however just get our 25 pound bag of soft winter wheat berries, so that also helped the little cakes with less gluten in the grain. However, kefir is naturally higher in sugar than say, milk or buttermilk. So what I learned is that they BURN EASILY. The first few did fine as the cast iron griddle came up to temperature. But once that black top got HOT HOT there was no cooling it down. And my stand-up-able was not about to take it off the heat and WAIT. Soooooo several of the hotcakes ended up with notable char on the edges, if not also the entire of one (or both!) sides.

I made sure to gather the really bad ones for myself and try and rescue the best for the kids and grandkiddos. And I also took advantage of the graces of the backwoods southern gentleman who is fond to say “Everything tastes better a little burnt.”

I don’t always catch just how KIND that is. You know what I mean? Because I think it’s either a polite catch phrase or just part of his backlog of hillbilly bluffs. But really, it speaks to his genuine kindness. This man that I’ve lived with for over ten years, has not once ever mentioned that my breath was bad, my hair needed washed or my cooking was anything less than precisely what hit the spot. Mind you he’ll tease me until the kefir comes home, but on a daily basis he never says anything intentionally that would hurt my feelings. Everything tastes better a little burnt is how he rolls with the blunt ends in Life.

Until of course, something puffs his ego, usually pain or a swiss cheese moment from his backlog of childhood bullshit he had to endure. I didn’t want to leave the impression he was perfect, because after all the charming southern therapist that he feels certain God put in our path is with us for a reason. But in truth she is full of so many accolades it helps us to remember that we are indeed working hard at making things work even during hard times.

Sometimes we can get caught up in the rough edges that we take for granted the things that work well for us. We let the little idiosyncrasies become boulders of bullshit that steal our bliss in the blink of an eye. And we simply can’t afford to do that. The world is a hard place and we each need to mind our stress level because it creates inflammation and chemical imbalances inside our body that can cause disease.

It’s not always an easy reach to find the humor in any given situation. Not when our pain body is screaming silently from the inside. Take for instance the weather change this week, my already non-automatic-autonomic system has a dismal time at temperature regulation and I recall one moment when I was shivering under layers of throw blankets and hot pack tucked under my hip, turning to the southern transfer and asking him what the temperature was in the room. You see, there’s a thermometer above his head that I can’t see from my vantage point to his left. He quipped “I don’t know why?” Almost as if he was in a chat room and quickly typed IDKY.

It was a single undetachable phrase. And I looked over the wide eyes raised eyebrow and said sharply what ungodly reasons are going through your head right now as possible scenarios on why I might be asking that question?! What evil underpinnings do you think I’ve plotted to derail your day?!! And he smiled back without missing a beat … he proceeded to turn and twist his body and retch his neck to the right and straight back, moaning in pain because not only his head hurt beyond belief he had pulled something in his shoulder that was giving him unusual pain — And he says with great pain and emphasis, “It’s 62°!”. Then continues in a mocking higher voice as if I was then talking “Ha! I made you look now you are in more pain than before! Ha ha ha ha!! I win!!” After which we both dissolved in laughter that was a little too loud and a little too long to be warranted.

But at our finest .. that’s what we both do. We laugh. From the moment 11 years ago when he passed Mountain Dew threw his nostrils laughing so hard on Skype at a silly little thing we were doing in a virtual world .. we realized that what kept bringing us back wasn’t so much the music mix on the 3D disco floor, it was the laugh track that we brought to the dance. It’s not that everything tastes better a little burnt, in as much as when we lift one another up, we all get a better view of the bounty before us.