It’s time…

I was perusing a website that featured a “clean eating oatmeal cookie”, because it was 4 a.m. and I was out of CandyCrush lives (note to friends PSL) and I admit that I am probably over critical in the pre-dawn-rational hours  but seriously this cookie was an epic fail on all fronts.  First the author touted that is had just over 100 calories which was great because you couldn’t stop at one. 

Seriously?  It’s a cookie!  100 calories isn’t cutting corners.  The I’m-sure-they-were-tasty morsels were also touted as no refined flour or sugar!  Bitch please they have CHOCOLATE CHIPS.  And while whole grain wheat flour may be a healthy alternative it’s certainly nothing a keto would call flourless.  (And I realized she never said flourless, re-read section on Uber critical insomniac).  But ok, other than the chocolate chips there was no sugar.  Wait what? A third of a cup of maple syrup?!?!?  Come on!!!  Clearly she never met my beancake when I was making minimally sweet barely edible paper weights.  I saw that the cream cheese drizzle used stevia but I’d have to shout WHY at this point your glycemic index already is soaring why ruin your buzz with the uck-furtaste of stevia?

It’s true I was overly disappointed in what passes for food blogs.  I pitched a fit yesterday when some dear lady was making a weeks worth of crockpot dishes only to recommend taking all of the week’s worth of leftovers and shoveling them into a calzone for Friday.  Granted we have a house with immune compromised people with a variety of idiosyncrasies that would prevent us from eating food past three days which is our magic number unless it’s salsa cause garlic kills anything right?

Thing is, we each have our issues, beliefs, superstitions and rational logic … And who is to say something can’t be all four or more?  Truth is I’ve been toying with the idea of a second cookbook for a half dozen years.  And I fully realize given my declining health it may never happen, not without a lot of help.  But help is something that I have a house full.

And I’m not talking about a beancake reprise.  We have a multigenerational home with folks who grew up eating all kinds of different food.  So this time we’re keeping it (sur)REAL.

• What do you think?  Ready for The Redneck Vegetarian?