Just One …

Sometimes, I have it in my head that I want one picture of me and the redneck. Sometimes days are just HARD and you want to capture a smile as if it will somehow make things feel alright. He knows this and so he’s forever patient when I want that one picture.

Because in truth it’s never one picture. I am far too self critical to see my reflected image and think I look “okay”. I don’t put on makeup, I usually don’t brush my hair … But I want one shot where my father’s 👃 isn’t the only thing you can see on my face.

So last night before my man was off to watch GoldRush I asked if we could take a quick selfie by the fishtank. Of course he said, which may have been “ye” or “k” because he talks much like he types in chat.

But I didn’t like the pictures. They were blurry and by now there was too much commotion and Bitz wanted to be in the blitz. So we took another round. And another.

But I was in that mood where I hated everything. Now Bo came by wondering if snacks were going to be offered. I thought maybe we’d take a short video and I could clip a few still frames of just the right pose.

“Sure Babe, where’s the tripod?”

“Out at the pond, I think.” But I knew it was, I had left it there from m earlier when I tried and failed to get just the right picture of our koi crew.

He shook his head a bit but went to get the tripod without making me feel bad that I was having an obsessive moment. After all it was just One Picture, ye?

One picture to make the day seem less painful. One picture that felt joyful instead of frustrating. One image that I could look back upon (I won’t admit to how often I scroll thru our eight years of social media profile pictures) and feel good about my Life. Especially on the hard days.

I gave up last night. Cause I was over tired and in too much pain. But during a post prandial flare today … I had time to look thru my Android at the pictures we took last night and find just the one and just the app with just the right filters for just that one picture. Of course none of that matters.

It’s not the pictures that makes me happy. It’s the man that went out to the pond, in the dark to get a tripod to try because he likes when I smile under any circumstance.